How to Conquer Limiting Beliefs and Unleash Your Potential

We all live in our own bubble—the bubble of our minds. How we see ourselves, the world, and what we think is or isn’t possible are shaped by our beliefs. But what if those beliefs are limiting us? What if they tell us that we aren’t good enough, that we don’t deserve love, or that we can’t achieve our goals? How can we break free from these self-sabotaging beliefs and take control of our lives?

In this blog post, I will share with you some insights and tips on how to overcome your limiting beliefs, based on my own experience and research. I will also introduce you to the concept of self-image, which is the key to understanding how our beliefs are formed and how they affect us.

What are limiting beliefs, and where do they come from?

Limiting beliefs are negative assumptions or judgments that we have about ourselves, others, or the world. They are often subconscious and automatic, meaning that we are not aware of them or how they influence our thoughts, feelings, and actions. Some examples of limiting beliefs are:

• I’m not smart enough to succeed in school or at work.
• I’m too old to learn new skills or change careers.
• I’m not attractive enough to find a partner or be happy.
• I’m not worthy of respect or appreciation.
• I can’t do anything right or make a difference.

These beliefs can hold us back from pursuing our dreams, expressing our true selves, or enjoying life. They can also cause us to feel insecure, anxious, depressed, or hopeless.

But where do these beliefs come from? How do they get into our minds in the first place?

One of the most influential sources of our beliefs is our self-image. This is the mental picture that we have of ourselves, which includes our physical appearance, personality, abilities, values, and roles. Our self-image is formed by our experiences, especially during our childhood and adolescence, when we are most impressionable and vulnerable.

Our self-image is also influenced by the feedback that we receive from others, such as our parents, teachers, friends, or media. If we are praised, encouraged, and supported, we tend to develop a positive self-image. If we are criticized, rejected, or ignored, we tend to develop a negative self-image.

Our self-image then becomes the lens through which we see ourselves and the world. It determines what we believe is possible or impossible, what we deserve or don’t deserve, and what we can or can’t do. It also affects how we feel about ourselves and how we behave in different situations.

The problem is that our self-image is not always accurate or realistic. It is often based on distorted or incomplete information or on conclusions that we draw from facts or experiences that may not be true or relevant. For example, if we fail a test, we may conclude that we are stupid or incompetent, even if we have other evidence that proves otherwise. Or if we are rejected by someone, we may conclude that we are unlovable or unworthy, even if we have other people who care about us.

These conclusions then become our limiting beliefs, which reinforce our negative self-image and create a vicious cycle of self-sabotage. We may avoid challenges, opportunities, or relationships that could help us grow or improve. We may sabotage our own success or happiness by procrastinating, making excuses, or giving up. We may also attract or create situations that confirm our limiting beliefs, such as failing, being rejected, or being unhappy.

How can we change our limiting beliefs and improve our self-image?

The good news is that our limiting beliefs and self-image are not fixed or permanent. They are flexible and changeable, depending on the information and experiences that we expose ourselves to. We can learn to challenge and change our limiting beliefs, and in turn, improve our self-image and our lives.

Here are three ways that we can do that:

1. Fill in the knowledge gaps.

One of the reasons why we have limiting beliefs is that we lack the knowledge or skills that we need to achieve our goals or overcome our challenges. For example, we may think that we can’t draw blood, speak in public, or start a business because we don’t know how to do it.

But instead of saying “I can't,"" we can say “I don’t know how."" This shifts our mindset from a fixed one to a growth one and opens up the possibility of learning and improving. We can then seek out the information, training, or help that we need to bridge the gap between where we are and where we want to be.

For example, when I was in medical school, I was asked to draw blood from patients a lot. But I had never done it before, and I was afraid of hurting them or messing up. So I always told the staff members that I couldn’t do it. But one day, my resident asked me to do it, and she said that she would teach me how. She showed me the difference between needle gauges, how to distinguish a vein from an artery, and how to insert the needle properly. After a few tries, I was able to do it successfully, and I felt more confident and competent.

By filling in the knowledge gaps, we can deconstruct our limiting beliefs and discover that we are capable of more than we think.

2. Gather new evidence.

Another reason why we have limiting beliefs is that we focus on the negative evidence that supports them and ignore or dismiss the positive evidence that contradicts them. For example, we may think that we are bad at public speaking because we remember the times when we stuttered, forgot our words, or got nervous. But we may forget or overlook the times when we spoke clearly, confidently, or persuasively.

But instead of believing everything we think, we can question our thoughts and look for the facts. We can gather new evidence that shows us that our limiting beliefs are not true or not the whole truth. We can also create new experiences that challenge our limiting beliefs and prove us wrong.

For example, for most of my life, I thought that public speaking was impossible for me. I was terrified of standing in front of a group of people and being judged or ridiculed. But then I got invited to speak at a conference for 300 students, and I decided to accept the challenge. I realized that I had already done similar things before, such as giving presentations in class, leading group discussions as a tutor, and giving speeches as a best man at weddings. I also prepared well, practiced a lot, and got feedback from others. When I gave the talk, it went much better than I expected, and I received positive feedback from the audience.

By gathering new evidence, we can change our perspective and see that we have more potential and possibilities than we think.

3. Redefine success

The third reason why we have limiting beliefs is that we have unrealistic or rigid expectations of ourselves or others, and we judge ourselves harshly or unfairly. For example, we may think that we are failures because we don’t meet our own or others’ standards of perfection, popularity, or performance. But we may not realize that these standards are arbitrary, subjective, or irrelevant.

But instead of defining success by external or fixed criteria, we can define it by our own or flexible ones. We can redefine success to mean progress, learning, or growth rather than outcomes, results, or achievements. We can also focus on the things that we can control, such as our efforts, actions, or attitudes, rather than the things that we can’t, such as other people’s opinions, reactions, or decisions.

For example, I used to go on dates with the romantic and unrealistic belief that success meant finding my soulmate or getting into a relationship. But when I was inevitably rejected or disappointed, I felt like a loser or a failure. But then I changed my definition of success to mean having fun, being myself, and connecting with others. I also focused on the things that I could control, such as asking engaging questions, smiling more, and avoiding self-sabotaging behaviors. By doing this, I was able to enjoy the dating process more, and I also attracted more compatible and interested partners.

By redefining success, we can reduce our fear of failure and increase our motivation and satisfaction.

Conclusion

Limiting our beliefs is the enemy of our happiness and success. They are the result of our negative self-image, which is based on our distorted or incomplete interpretation of reality. But we can change our limiting beliefs and improve our self-image by filling in the knowledge gaps, gathering new evidence, and redefining success. By doing this, we can take control of our lives and achieve our goals.